The Care and Keeping of a Hikari
by Aithril the Elf-Maiden
Summary: Rated Because of Language This story was emailed to me by an anonymous yami. blinks But I didn't write it, she did. It's hysterical though a mustread for all yamis.


The Care and Keeping of a Hikari  
  
Warning: This guide is meant to go for MY hikari, who is a girl. So I will refer to this as 'her'. If it's a him, adjust appropriately.  
  
Are you worried about your hikari? Do you not understand her? This guide is designed to help you understand and care for your hikari and make her happy!  
  
In fact, let's stay on that topic: happiness. Hikaris love to be happy and often are cheerful and smiling while others are frowning. She hates to see people suffer or be sad and will do anything to cheer them up, even if it means putting her life in danger.  
  
Hikaris are also very sensitive to other people's moods and voice tone. That angry voice of yours might not really affect a normal person, but it is the equivalent of being slapped to her. And trust me, a sad hikari is NOT a pretty sight. Think of a deflated balloon.  
  
Your light is often too trusting and innocently naive for her own good. Make sure to repeat rules such as "Don't open the door to strangers", "Lock the door behind you", and "Don't take candy from strangers".  
  
To care for your hikari, you must give her lots of love. To all yamis out there, I know this is not easy, but hikaris need love to survive. They depend on it in their lives like you do blood. (*_* Blood...) Any caring gesture, or even a quick hug will make your hikari feel loved. Another thing to do (cringes) is to cuddle, as weird as that may sound. No, I'm not encouraging you to be lesbians, (-_-;;) but hikaris feel safest and most at peace close to their yamis.  
  
Stuck on a birthday or Christmas present? Think fluffy, cute, or with bright colors. Also, something with a cool sound will keep a hikari occupied for hours. Presents include fluffy-topped or gel pens, pillows, Hello Kitty! merchandise, colored pencils, a nightlight (if they don't already have one), glow-in-the-dark stars (or moons, clouds, unicorns, etc.), Lisa Frank merchandise, books (preferably with happy endings), puzzles, poetry, pillows, stuffed animals, windchimes, flowers, or possibly something barbie.  
  
Clueless as to where to take your hikari for the day? I'll go by season to make it easy for you.  
  
In summer, an amusement park is perfect. Watch your hikari in bliss as she rides the spinning tea-cup thingys and Dumbo. ^_^;; But if your hikari is a bit more adventurous, roller coasters are ok as long as you ride in the same car as her so that you will be there for comfort if she's scared of heights, like most hikaris are. What's even better than amusement parks? Their brothers of course! Water parks are the perfect opportunity to cool off with on an extremely hot day. Try to avoid tall body slides. At the end, not only do you have a HUGE wedgie, but your backside is exposed to the boys who are hanging around just for that purpose. Don't corrupt your hikari with that; it's just nasty. Wave pools are great, but you must keep an eye on your hikari at times to be sure that the waves don't get the best of her. If she goes under, pull her up and bring her to the wall. Block the waves with your body until she feels able to go out in open water again. And note that even though you'll practically be in water all day, you can't drink it. Bring a couple bottles of water and force her to drink some- wait, wrong word choice for yamis other than myself. ANNOY her until she drinks some to prevent her from getting dehydrated. Speaking of open water... if you can, go the beach! Remind your hikari to apply suntan lotion every four hours, or even two if she's constantly in the water. If she gets too cold, drag her out into the sun and hand her some Gold Fish to snack on. Tired of the water? When it's nearing the end of low tide, build a sand pyramid (yes, a sand PYRAMID) close to the edge of the water and builds walls and ditches around it. As the tide comes in, you will enjoy the slow destruction of the pyramid by flood (DIE AGAIN, PHARAOH! MWHAHHAHAHAHHA) and she'll have fun trying to rebuild the disintegrating walls of sand.  
  
In fall, search the newspapers or listen to the news on tv and keep your ears open for the words 'Fall Carnival' or 'October Fest'. What? Did you think I was going to tell you to listen for bloody murders? -_-;; I know you do that already. Back to the topic... fall festivals can be a lot of fun. There are usually game booths, food stands, and even small rides. Games are great to do if your hikari often bests you in every normal game you play (except Duel Monsters, of course). However, if you see her getting too discouraged, give up the prize you've won to them. Don't you just love to see her eyes shining with happiness? (Bakura, I was NOT asking you.) If you're ok with a sugar-hyper hikari, buy her cotton candy. If not, hot-dogs and fries work, too. The rides aren't anything like the huge roller coasters you rode on in summer, but they'll make your hikari very happy. Just eyeball the ride before you get on. If it looks rusty, skip it with an excuse like, "How about we go on this ride instead?" and point to a better-kept-up one. Remember, she is often too trusting for her own good, so keep an eye on her and don't ever lose sight of each other in the crowd. What? You don't have any kind of fall-festival? Substitute this for a homemade activity. Rake all the leaves in your backyard into a huge pile. Then demand you both jump in. Kind of boring for you, but highly entertaining to your hikari! ^_^  
  
Winter = ice-skating. It's as simple as that. If it's her first time, explain how to move. Did you just skate off and leave her to fend off the wolves by herself? How cruel can you get?!? Really now, I would expect you to treat anyone else that way, but your own aibou? (tsks) Disgraceful. Wait until she gets her balance even decently before giddily taking a fast lap around the ring by yourself. When she's exhausted, suggest taking a break and buy some hot cocoa to warm up with. Assure your hikari that she's a natural, even if she's not. Aw, look at her blush! Come on, you have to admit that's cute. Or, if cute's not in your vocabulary, sweet. The best time all year to have a day to yourself with your hikari is a snow day! As soon as you're sure that there's no school (for her, anyway), go to the nearest hill and go sledding! When you're both tired of that, build a snow man. She'll insist that she's not cold, but if you notice that her lips and skin are turning blue and her cheeks are a little too red, call it quits for the day and drag her inside. Make your hikari sit by the fire until her normal skin color is back. Don't be surprised if she falls asleep in the warmth. No, you may NOT wake her up. Drape a blanket over her until she wakes up on her own and watch TV or read a book in the meantime.  
  
If it's spring, have a picnic in the park, preferably by a creek, stream, or river if it's not too cold or rainy. Just beware that your hikari may want to pick the 'pretty' flowers that grow there and might try to give you some. GENTLY refuse. If you're nice about it, she'll understand your need for death and destruction... a little, anyway. For filling your picnic basket, I would suggest this list: plates, forks, knives, napkins, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cups, and milk. Alternatives could be turkey, corn, water, etc. Pick out your hikari's favorite dishes and watch her squeal with delight. A holiday to look forward to in spring is Easter! Bring her to see the Easter bunny (the man in the giant, white rabbit costume) and take a picture. Make her an Easter basket that night and wake her up early Sunday morning to open it. Must-haves for an easter basket are tons of chocolate (eggs, bars, or M&M's, it doesn't matter) placed in brightly colored plastic eggs. If you can't stand to touch the bright yellow items, put on some heavy-duty work gloves. Another suggestion is confetti, preferably a vivid color like yellow, green, or pink, all of them pastels. Then buy one more expensive item, such as a happily-ending book or CD or just a card. Look at that sunny smile!   
  
I hope that gave you a few ideas. Now I'm going to list some typical situations and explain why your hikari reacted the way she did.  
  
Situation 1: Your hikari bounds upstairs to your room and opens the door. You expect to follow her before she runs out screaming bloody murder. (heh... blood... ok, not literally. Just super loudly) "What?" you ask, bewildered. She faints.  
  
Answer: Why? Think about your room. I am probably rightly assuming that your room is the opposite of your hikari's. Does SHE have knives laying around her room? No. Does SHE have a bloody hand sticking out of the closet? No. You must get the point by now. Be sure to clean up after any... erm, PROJECTS that you've been working on. Then let her in.   
  
Situation 2: You're both watching a movie in your room. Note the five basic stages your hikari passes through. Stage 1- She moves from a sitting position to one where she's laying on her stomach with her head propped up. Stage 2- She lays her head down on the pillow, still on her stomach. Stage 3- Her eyes begin to roll up in her head and her eyelids flutter. She yawns as she struggles to stay awake. Stage 4- Her eyes close fully and her breathing evens out to a slow inhale and exhale. Stage 5- She is snoring lightly and rolls over onto her side to be more comfortable. Now that that's explained... around Stage 3, you say "Do you want to go to bed?" and she says (stubbornly) "No. I'm wide awake." Two seconds later, she's fast asleep and passing into dream land.  
  
Answer: I know you're saying, "Why does she even try to lie to me?!?" Really, she's just lying to herself. (Even though that sort of is you......) (brain explodes) Your hikari wants to be as all-mighty powerful and strong as you, and to her that includes staying up past 11:00 PM. Even though her hikari instincts will take over and usually knock her out around 10:30 PM, she's trying to be like you. Take it as a compliment. It is funny to watch your light fight to stay awake though, isn't it? If she's a heavy sleeper or just super- out of it, move her into her own bed and tuck the covers up under her chin. If she has glasses, carefully shift her face up so that you can remove them and place them near-by so that she'll be able to find them easily in the morning. Maybe your hikari wasn't a heavy sleeper in the first place. If so, just carefully push her over to the other side of your bed and make do. Do NOT panic if she tries to hug you like a teddy bear. To avoid this, place a barrier of large stuffed animals between you and her.  
  
Situation 3: Your hikari is having problems with a bully at school. When you ask if she wants you to 'put him in his place' she immediately refuses and makes you promise not to interfere. A little hurt, you accept her answer. Later, she comes home from school with a black eye and several cuts. What do you do?  
  
Answer: First off, treat her wounds. Ask her if she feels dizzy or lightheaded. If she's drank enough water for the day already, take her to the hospital to check for a concussion. Put ice on the black eye and command her to hold it there. Next, get neosporn or alcohol (NOT THAT KIND!) and a cotton ball. Pour some of the liquid onto the cotton ball and dab gently at the cuts. Don't be surprised if she starts to cry. It's just shock and should pass within the hour.   
  
Once she's medically treated, say "Tell me what happened." Your hikari might start crying again, and if she does, give her a hug. Have a little sympathy. What if YOU were the hikari and SHE was the yami? Exactly. Let her cry into your shoulder for a few minutes, then try your question again. There's a 99.99999% chance that the bully simply cornered her and beat her up. Although you are probably furious (sample thoughts: THAT NO GOOD GODDAMN MOTHER-F*CKING SON OF A BITCH WILL DIE! No one is allowed to lay a FINGER on my hikari except ME! She's MINE!) (There thoughts may be increased in intensity if you just so happened to be some type of thief back in Ancient Egypt. You'll feel more possessive than normal.), don't take it out on her. Say calmly, "I won't allow this anymore. If that idiot bothers you anymore, he'll have to deal with ME." Your light will probably be a little awed, or even scared, by you at this point and won't be able to do anything but nod. This is good, because she's unknowingly giving you permission to beat the stupid shit to a bloody pulp! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! ^_^;; Moving on..... I'm sure you're wondering why she denied your help in the first place. Remember the whole trying-to-be-like-you thing? It's happening again. She was in an independent mood and wanted to deal with problems herself. I think by now she's learned her lesson and will come to you with pleas of protection in the future. *_*  
  
I hope this guide has helped you to better understand your hikari and how her insanely happy-driven brain works. Still confused? An updated version of this guide will be coming out soon. Stay tuned. ^_^  
  
oos: I was emailed this guide by an anonymous yami who wanted me to post it. (shrugs) So I will. ^_^;; If that person's reading it, I love this guide! Lol, maybe it will help my yami care for and understand ME! (glares at Kita) 


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